I'm no Classicist Gary but...

So t'other night my housemates and I decide to sit and watch the newest incarnation of Clash of the Titans. I am sad to say I was fairly dissapointed.

I am not a purist who is outraged at the bastardisation of such wonderful epics - I love Ray Harryhausen's creations and Disney's Hercules - but given the plethora of rich source material why was the movie so damn mundane? It had a great sountrack, good visuals and talented cast yet it lacked all joy I usually feel at such sword-and-sandal romps.

My immediate gripe is the blandness of the female characters. Firstly Andromeda was a little insipid. She whinged at her parents' defiance of the gods and then looked mortified when the religious zealot wanted to sacrifice her to appease them, even though she was willing to die for the sake of her people. Noble motives sure but I guess I was expecting a little more gusto from her. Or at least a dignified acceptance of her fate. She was a minor part in the film anyway, but still she irked me.

However, my main issue was with Io. She had the potential to be interesting - as pointed out by my housemate she knew information that our sweet Perseus or his band did not - yet she too was bland. She gets to lead these typically 'male' characters and impart knowledge on them but her doe eyes over the (very) buff Sam Worthington undermines any of this otherworldly knowledge and angsty back-story. This sadly makes her like most female characters boring and fairly unforgettable. I am not saying I'd be able to resist those wonderful biceps (I'm not a robot), but have some bloody self respect. As for the ending I died a little inside due to its mawkishly saccharine sentimentality.

Moving onto the men of the film, it was very difficult to empathise or even care about their plights. The main group accompanying Perseus lacked any real depth. Brief glimspes into their back-stories provide moments of compassion and understanding, but still not enough to make me feel anything when they died. The monster hunters were pretty nifty but they kinda felt like the token 'interesting' characters, yet they weren't given any real back story other than "we hunt monsters" and were neat little plot device to aid the hero in the end battle. In my not so humble opinion if there was extra time devoted to the adventuring party then as a viewer I could have become more emotionally invested in them. The closest I came to caring was during the fight with Medusa, which in all fairness was a pretty good fight and she looked awesome.

I also think that if I hadn't been expecting to enjoy it so much I may have taken it more for what it was - a visually joyful yet mediocre sword-and-sandal romp.

(Whilst writing this post I have been rekindling my love of the Green Day album Nimrod, that is all).

I ain't paid to talk pretty...

So, a couple of days ago a colleague of mine berrates me for cursing near a table of children. Let's get this straight, I wasn't standing over them laughing meniacally as the air turned blue and their mothers wept. In actual fact I was standing in the (staff only) kitchen area and uttered my curse - which incidentally was not the worst word in my repetoire - to which my colleague reminded me of the table of under 10's but inches away from the open door.

The point of this thrilling anecdote is that it got me a-wondering about the severity of swearing around children. Needless to say I DO NOT condone the use of abusive language or behaviour towards the vulnerable, I am merely referring to the art of cussin' in front of children.

Whenever I proudly exclaim "My mother taught me all the swear words I know" I am only half-joking. She is a woman of great wit, an impressive vocabulary and an unique sense of humour that often borders on the irreverent. However, despite my blue tongue coming from her I have known from a very early age that using foul language is wrong. I remembered being mortified in primary school when one of my classmates told our teacher I had sworn.

I vehemently protested yet the teacher would not believe me and insisted I washed my mouth out with water. I may have been humilated in front of my peers yet I KNEW I was right, I had said "fat" (in reference to a crayon of all things) which was certainly not on my mother's list of prohibited words.

Anyway, my point after this long ramble being how bad is it to swear in front of kids? Parents could always play the "do as I say, not as I do" card to avoid their little angels cursing or simply explain to children WHY swearing is an adult thing. If adults can explain to children why films may not be suitable for them, why touching a hot oven is dangerous or even the merits of homework, then why not explain the downside to swearing?

Ok, maybe my working-class roots are showing here but with a little time and explanation the appeal of swearing will wear off. If you make something not taboo then it loses its allure.

To conclude, swearing is not the sign of a limited vocablary and not always necessary but it sure is fun.

(Completely off topic here, word of the day 'avarice'. A very sexy word).